When you break up with someone you love, and it’s the other person who decided that it was time to end the relationship, you can be pretty seriously broken up about it. Luckily, life doesn’t have to end without your ex, and honestly it doesn’t even have to BE without your ex!
Yeah, you read it correctly…you can get your ex back and go on with life stronger than ever before! What’s even better, I’m going to tell you 4 solid, real-life things that you can do to get started right now!
1) Don’t let life pass you by, get up and enjoy yourself a bit! Going out with friends is a great way to bypass a lot of the hurt you’re feeling and start on a healthy road to getting your life back on track. Even if you don’t feel like it, stay socially active and surround yourself with people who care about you!
You may be wondering how this helps to get your ex back…and that’s a fair question. See, there’s more to getting your ex back than just endless apologies and promises…your ex wants to see some change in you, some strength that wasn’t there before. Not allowing yourself to be stricken helpless by your loss is a great way to stand up and show everyone (including yourself) that you’re a better and stronger person than you know. What’s more, this can attract some more attention from the opposite sex, which fires up that whole “hey, maybe I made a mistake here, look at all the people interested in him(her?).”
2) This next step is the one that balks most people, but it’s crucially important to getting your ex back. Sit down and ponder your past relationships, and what caused them to end –particularly this most recent one. What things did YOU contribute to the eventual downfall of you and your partners? If you’re going to pull off a recovery, you’ll need to fix the problems you caused.
And don’t just think I’m being hurtful without knowing your story. Your ex dumped you, that’s all I need to know to reliably reason that somewhere down the line you did something, or didn’t do something, that caused a fracture between you. Over time, that gap grew wider as you kept adding to it, and eventually it tore you completely apart. That’s just the way it usually happens. Don’t hate yourself for it turning out this way…just take care of the things you did, and never do them again. Doing this will not only give you a better chance of pulling off a reunion with your ex, it can help any and all future relationships to last better.
3) Keep up your physical appearance. When you sit around all day pining over lost love, you tend to let yourself go…and that gallon of Ben and Jerry’s ain’t helping. Don’t let yourself slide in the fitness/hygiene department…remember that you want your ex to want to come back to you, and to do that you need to be in shape at least as good as you were when you were together, and it helps to have showered in the last week and a half.
4) Perhaps the biggest and most important thing I can tell you about getting your ex back is listed at number four so that I can be sure you’re paying attention by this point. You ready? Here it is: DON’T RUSH THINGS! Your ex is hurting like you are, possibly worse! Bombarding him or her with more and more of YOU is only going to work against you! Back off, give your ex some space, and work on the things you need to do before you ever make contact again.
And don’t forget to keep it light and simple when you eventually do get to the point that re-establishing contact becomes appropriate. Don’t use any method more aggressive than a simple phone call or email, and stay away from the topic of getting back together, unless your ex makes it unavoidable. Chances are good that if you take it easy and just express an interest in how your ex is doing, eventually you two will get a little more comfortable and possibly spend a little time together as friends.
At this point, it’s win-it-or-lose-it time. Again, hitting the gas too fast will just destroy your chances, so keep it simple and fun. Do things together that you both enjoy, and enjoyed doing as a couple. Be the best person you can, and show how hard you’ve worked to stay your best and even become better than ever before. Make your ex feel as happy as your best times as a couple, and it should slowly start to dawn on your ex that perhaps quitting wasn’t the best idea…
I can’t guarantee your specific situation will fit easily into the space I’ve mapped out for it, but that’s going to happen when every relationship is made up of two completely unique people…but I can tell you that these guidelines I’ve given you will help you in any situation. At least keep them in mind as a way of thinking, and you’ll have a much better chance of getting your ex back.
